Jesse James Brings Out The Trashy In All of Us
I’ve been thinking about tattoos all week, because people just can’t seem to stop talking about Michelle McGee and her role as the trashy, gold digger who ruined Sandra Bullock’s life. I’m frankly shocked by the bile leveled at Ms. McGee, not for her asshat behavior, but because of her extensive tattoos.
I have no tattoos personally, but I’m finding the subtext of a lot of the general commentary by women about women with tattoos to be disturbing. For example, the assumption that any woman with extensive body modification of the “bad” kind (unpleasant tattoos and bad boob jobs) is probably a slutty attention seeker. While I’m in complete agreement with everyone that Ms. McGee’s white power tattoos are wrong for so many reasons, I am disappointed that there’s still such tremendous opposition against women using their own bodies for self-expression in this day and age. Let’s face it, even if she were tattoo-free Ms. McGee would still suck. Her actions are what really make her trashy, not the lame neo-nazi references on the backs of her thighs.
(Stepping onto the soapbox)
Why are tattoos on women so subversive? Could it be that marking oneself goes directly against society’s decision that a woman’s life narrative should be privately experienced, but publicly owned?
You’re contemplating terminating your pregnancy? Because abortion is never good, even if you do it for the “right” reasons. Don’t talk about it. It’s too inflammatory.
Are you pregnant? Well, you better be the “right” kind of pregnant (see Bristol Palin) because if you don’t have the “right” amount of money, or the “right” relationship, or the “right” skin color you shouldn’t have kids.
Did you miscarry? Well, don’t talk about that because it’s private, and totally your fault.
Stop nursing your baby in public. It’s gross and your boobs are only for appearance, not for utility. Stay home like a good mother and feed your child in private.
Now that you’re done nursing, you need to lose that weight and get a boob lift to fix those floppy tits. There shouldn’t be any physically evidence, other than the baby, that you were once pregnant.
Oh, you’re still fat? That’s because you are lazy.
Now look what you’ve done. You’re too skinny! That means you’re crazy and stressed out and can’t handle the pressure of your job.
Speaking of pressure, you look so hagged out. You really need to stop wrinkling. People might start thinking that you have life experience or something. Maturity is for men only, silly!
And while you’re at it, dye your hair. Even though everyone knows you’re only 32, gray hair means you are beyond your sexual prime and too old to have babies. Men are going to pass you over for younger women with chemically treated hair.
Don’t get a tattoo. Unlike for guys, tattoos are never just art that you wear on your body. Dumb girl, that’s what makeup and engagement rings are for! If you are uppity enough to get a tattoo because you’ve got daddy issues and live to spite your mother, be sure to get the “right” kind of tattoo on the “right” part of your body because getting the wrong tattoo in the wrong place means you’re a bad person. What you put on your body needs to be vetted by the public anyway, because how else will you know what is appropriate and ladylike? Besides, no one really wants to know about your aspirations, or values, or memories anyway, so showing those things off in the form of tattoos is just rubbing it in our faces. Why are you so annoying?
Sometimes the voice of The Matriarchy sucks just as hard as the voice of The Patriarchy.
(Stepping on the soapbox now, before I really mess up my hair).