Huffing Paint

Filed under Noted

I just don’t understand why people would ever do this on purpose. For me, there is no high, just a pounding headache and a strange hunger for junk food. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I’m immune to the effects of paint fumes. The last time I painted my office, I remembered halfway through the painting process that I had forgotten to return a bunch of DVDs to the video store. Rather than garner $10 in late fees, I put down my paintbrush, grabbed my purse, double checked to make sure I had all the discs in the right cases, exited my house accompanied by my dog, locked the front door, and got into my car.

I was halfway to the video store when I realized that my dog wasn’t in the car with me. Somehow I’d let her out of the house and then left her behind in the driveway.

Luckily, my dog was walking down the sidewalk in front of my neighbor’s house, leash dragging behind her when I returned home. As I let her into the house with a relieved sigh, I swear to God I saw her roll her eyes when she thought I wasn’t looking. What’s really creepy is that even at that moment I didn’t feel like I was totally wasted. (Although from that experience I now have first hand knowledge of what it feels like to be stupid).

At any rate, the original plan for today was that I was going to the fabric store so I could get my scissors sharpened professionally and buy all the fabric and notions needed to complete a bunch of sewing and mending projects on the master list. This plan was scrapped late last night when Senor Amor called me with a last minute painting gig. He needed the help and I need the money so I can finally finish paying Bridie for all her hard work as my webmaster.

I spent twelve hours today painting a house in Long Beach. Although the paint was low-VOC, I still ended up with the munchies. Before I realized what I was doing, I had managed to eat five Krispy Kreme donuts, during a 15 minute coffee break. So, even though I skipped my usual paint fume related migraine, over the rest of the day I suffered through the Five Stages of Donuts:

  1. Elation
  2. Disbelief
  3. Nausea
  4. Fatigue
  5. Hunger for french fries to counteract the sugar

Donuts are a terrible high.

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