Noted

It took me all day yesterday to get over my irritation about having to write a cheery response email to The Mexican, my least favorite ex-boyfriend. Actually, it took me all day yesterday to get over being mad that my ex-boyfriend still can make me mad, even unintentionally. And by the way, his lack of [...]

And you thought I was make a sexual reference didn’t you? Whatever, perv. I met Mel C. (my former intern, not the Spice Girl) for dessert at the bad pie restaurant in Burbank. I love dumpy restaurants because you can gossip about Hollywood and not worry about the wrong person overhearing your conversation. You know, [...]

I’m having an OUT OF THE PAST moment. Alas, it does not involve Robert Mitchum. Today, as in just now, I received an email from my ex-boyfriend, The Mexican. His message was cheery. He talked about how he’s a partner in an art gallery, how much he and wife hate their Brooklyn loft, and how [...]

“When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap all the way to the edges of your field, or gather the gleanings of your harvest. You shall not pick your vineyard bare, or gather the fallen fruit of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the poor and the stranger.” Leviticus 19:9-10 [...]

I had the dream again. I’ve been having the same dream a lot lately. Last night I dreamt that I was in my car, heading southbound on the 405 freeway toward Westwood. In the dream I’m sitting in the backseat of my Volvo reading a script. It must be cold outside because I’m snuggled under [...]

I got a letter today from (redacted charity organization) thanking me for my generous donation. I don’t even remember donating DVDs to them, but whatever. So, I called them up and guess what? They will accept porn. Let me repeat that. They. Will. Accept. Porn. Not only will they accept my porn surplus and all [...]

I wished for my boyfriend, Mr. Foxypants, and he came true. No really. It happened. No, I didn’t manifest him into being. It’s not like I’m Oprah or anything. I’ve had a crush on Mr. Foxypants since the moment I met him five years ago. “You have the best eyebrows EVER!” I blurted out when [...]